Kevin's Secret
by TheLostPotato
Summary: Kevin has a dark secret. Can Gwen help him? contains self harm. Don't read if triggered.


**I haven't written in a really long time. Sorry if it's not that good. I'm fourteen. Please don't flame. Contains self-harm and hints of suicide. Set right after Ultimate Alien. I know that we saw Kevin shirtless in Alien Force, at the end of Ultimate Alien and maybe even other occasions, but this is a fanfic. Shh don't tell anyone how badass I am ignoring the facts. One-shot.**

Kevin sat in his garage, thinking. Thinking of what could quite possibly be the end of his relationship with Gwen. He sighed. He really did love her a lot. He didn't want to hurt her.

He knew that what he was doing was wrong. He couldn't stop. It was an addiction gotten out of hand. It tore at his soul. He had tried to stop many times. It never worked. He wasn't strong enough. He was usless. He dragged it across his arm again. A failure. He made another deep line in his forearm.

They wouldn't take him alive. The therapists. The Doctors. The hospitals. He would never let them get to him.

No. His mother wouldn't have wanted him to do this. Gwen wouldn't want him to do this. His father wouldn't have...

His father. His real father. The memories came flooding back and he had to clear the physical pain again. Crimson liquid flowed out of five large cuts on top of the already many scars.

No. He threw the razor across the room. It dripped onto the floor, and he was glad that it wasn't carpet. He cursed to himself. There was a lot of blood.

He walked towards the bathroom, attempting to keep more from hitting the floor. he turned the sink on and rinsed his arm. It was still bleeding heavily. He veered his glance up towards the mirror. He was pale.

He pressed a towel against his arm. It still didn't stop. He tried to push the edges of one of the cuts together. It kept it from bleeding, but only as long as heheld it together. He took some bandages from the cabinet under the sink.

He used them to keep the cuts pushed together. It was uncomfortable, and itchy, but he would fix that when it stopped bleeding. He glanced at the mirror again, gasping at how pale he had become.

This wasn't good. Gwen would be over in an hour. He remembered that the floor needed to be cleaned up and picked up the towel. He would have to wash it. He took it over to the spot where he had inflicted injuries upon himself.

It took him longer than he thought to clean it all up. he glanced over at his watch, realizing that his shirt was covered in blood too, then realizing Gwen would be there in ten minutes.

Honestly, by that time, he felt like just being alone, but he didn't want to upset Gwen. He didn't want her to know what he was battling. It was his fight.

He darted towards his wardrobe, grabbing a shirt, and back to the bathroom, not realizing he had left the towel hanging on the door of the wardrobe. He cleaned up his arm again, and covered it with gauze. He put his shirt on just in time to see Gwen opening the door.

He was a little dizzy, but he could walk straight, and see alright, so he pushed it aside.

"Hey babe," he said with a large smile and hugged her. Pain shot up his arm but he tried not to flinch.

Gwen could sense something was wrong. She looked at Kevin. "You're so pale," she gently ran her fingers across his cheek, "are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he told her, "just a little tired. Didn't get much sleep." She frowned. "Do you want me to come back later?" she asked him, sympathy in her voice. "Nah," he said, "let's watch a movie."

Gwen cuddled up against him on the couch. It was old, and a bit damaged, but she didn't care. She loved being with him.

Kevin's arm kept itching. It was painful to not scratch. Gwen noticed his frequent habit, and looking at his arm, saw a piece of cloth that didn't quite belong under his sleve. His arm was bulkier too. She looked at it for a moment and realized what it was.

"Kevin?" she asked, "did you hurt yourself?" Kevin was nervous. "Umm, yeah. It's nothing," he assured her. "You sure?" she asked. "Yeah," he replied, slightly annoyed. "Can I see it?" she asked.

Kevin, not knowing what to say, replied with, "It's nothing, babe." Gwen wasn't convinced. "I just wanna be sure you're okay," she told him. "I'm fine, just leave it alone." Gwen could tell he was irritated, and he wasn't his usual self.

She finally decided to just agree with him. He was always so stubborn, and sometimes, she liked that about him. She was worried though this time.

"Hey Kevin?" she asked. "Yeah?" "Can I stay the night tonight? My parents are out of town." Kevin wasn't quite sure what to say. He knew this day would come, but he had hoped he could explain why there were scars, not cuts.

"Sure," he said a little nervously. Gwen cuddled up against him. They had obviously never had sex, Gwen would have seen the scars and cuts that covered his legs. He didn't want to anyway. In this state nothing could have put him in the mood.

Gwen smiled at him. "I don't wanna have sex," she said. "I just wanna spend the night." Kevin was relieved to hear that. Maybe he would be able to keep it secret after all. "Okay," he kissed her on the cheek.

The movie was boring, but all Kevin could think about was how lucky he was. Gwen seemed to like it, but he just stared off into space, thinking.

By the time it was over, it was pretty late, and both of them were tired. "Can I borrow some more comfortable clothes?" Gwen asked. "Yeah, go ahead and look through the wardrobe," he said. She got off the couch and started towards it.

When she got there, she froze. There was a towel covered in blood, hanging over the door. "Kevin!" she almost screamed. Naturally, he got up and started running for her. She held up the towel and he stopped and stood dumbfounded.

"Let me see your arm Kevin," she demanded, "anything that bleeds that much has got to be pretty bad." "No," he said almost in a stubborn five year old way. "Kevin," she cried, "Do you not trust me?"

Kevin knew he would have to come clean. He was scared that she wouldn't accept him. "No," he turned away so that she had no view of his arm, "I don't trust myself."

Gwen was confused. She walked over to him and looked him in the eyes. "Kevin," she begged, "what are you not telling me?"

Kevin cringed. "I've been having urm..." he tried to find the words, "troubles," he finally said. "What do you mean by "troubles?" she asked.

"Let's sit down," he lead her to the torn up sofa sitting in the middle of the room. "Kevin, whats happening?" she needed to know. He knew she wouldnt leave without answers.

Kevin rolled up his sleve and began to undo the gauze. Gwen watched in anticipation as he did so, making him even more nervous. When he was almost finished unwrapping his arm, and blood could be seen soaking through the gauze, he stopped. Gwen looked up at him.

"Promise me something?" he asked. His stomach flipped and he never wanted to lose her. If he did, he might as well drag that razor right through the veins. "What is it?" she asked. "You'll love me no matter what."

"Kevin," she took his hand, "I will _always_ love you." "Gwen," he said shyly," I've been keeing something from you. Something that i probably shouldn't." A tear fell down his cheek. He didn't know what was going to happen. He was scared.

Gwen was terrified. She had never seen Kevin, her one true love cry. He didn't know how to say it, so he continued to unwrap the bandages, until she could see his bloodstained arm. "Kevin," was all she could manage.

"I know, I just can't help it," he cried. Tears were everywhere by now, but none of them came from Gwen. "Kevin, you can't," she stopped, "that's not right."

"It's an addiction Gwen," he sobbed. "I can't stop any less than I could stop trying to absorb power when I was a mutated freak."

"We need to get you help baby," Gwen stroked his back, attemting to comfort him. "NO. NONE OF YOU PEOPLE UNDERSTAND. I DON'T WANT YOUR FUCKING HELP. I'M NEVER GOING TO THERAPY. THAT'S ONE STEP BEFORE THE DAMN INSANE ASYLUM."

Kevin sobbed louder and pulled away from Gwen's touch. "I'm sorry," Gwen apoligized. "THEY'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE," he yelled. He then realized that there was no reason for yelling and he spoke more softly, sniffling. "I just wanna be alone for a while Gwen."

"There is no chance I'm leaving you alone right now Kevin. Like I said I will always love you and I will always be there for you," she took his hand. "Please," Kevin begged. He wanted the cold metal's touch again.

"I'll be staying a few days Kevin. I don't want you to hurt yourself. It hurts me." Kevin began crying again. "Gwen," he sobbed, "I never wanted to hurt you." "then don't Kevin. You can be strong. Be strong for me."

Kevin realized that he should try. If that was what Gwen wanted him to do, he would try. "Alright," he agreed. "I'm going to stay with you for now. I'm not gonna let you out of my sight." Kevin groaned. He didn't want to be watched 24/7 but he had no choice in the matter. Not really.

"Let's get this cleaned up," Gwen walked him towards the bathroom. He rinsed it under the sink and it stung a lot, but it needed to be cleaned. At least, that's what Gwen said.

Gwen took the clothes that she was origionally aiming for and quickly got dressed in the bathroom. "Aren't you going to change into some more comfortable clothes?" she asked Kevin. "I guess so," Kevin replied solemnly.

He grabbed some shorts and a t-shirt, and went into the bathroom. He was hoping he could get ahold of his razor, but realized he had thrown it across the garage. He would have decided against it anyway.

He got changed and came out to see Gwen waiting by the door. She gasped at the numerous scars on his arms and legs. She didn't want to upset him again, so she just walked up and hugged him. "I love you," she told him.

"I love you too," he told her back. "Lets go to bed," she requested. They walked into Kevin's bedroom and both got into bed, facing each other. Gwen was so beautiful to Kevin. He loved her more than anything. If she wanted him to change, he would.

Kevin was about to fall asleep when Gwen kissed him on the nose. He opened his eyes and smiled at her. She wrapped her arms around him and snuggled up against his chest. He loved this feeling. It wasn't one of lust and he wasn't exactly turned on, but he felt loved. He felt so loved. He had not felt this strong of a feeling since he was a child.

He sighed and pressed his nose into Gwen's sweet smelling hair. This might not be as bad as he thought.


End file.
